Today after me and my sister came back from the gym she read a passage from this small booklet the church I go to gives out every three months. It's called your daily word and each day as a passage and what this passage means. My sister read a passage that described how god some time gives us pain and troubles to make us better people. And it really touched me.
A lot of the stuff I'm going through now is in a way making me better. I feel if I graduated landed a job in the game industry would have left me very open for a big fall that would have done more damage down the line. I am not the best artist in the world and maybe even rate below average to those found in the game industry. The reason is at some point I stopped putting enough effort in my work or going the extra mile. The fact that it seem that the teachers were just passing us to get us outta the school may have helped in making me this way.
I didn't listen to some of my friends when they say that I'm all alk and don't finish many of my ideas. How I needed to sop playing games and concentrated on improving my skills so I could make them. But now after going through a lot of depression in the last months since graduating I'm starting to get back on track. Maybe not in making art for games but at least in my writing. I plan to finish my first novel this summer and hope that I can get it published.
I'm continuing on training my voice and learning other things that will be very useful in passing as a women when I begin my transition. I'm beating the lazy out of me and maturing myself. When I am in a better place financially I will progress with my transition, until then I will focus on making my self better and thanking god every day for the pain he gave me to realize my faults. And giving me the time to improve my self so when I do break in to games or become a author I will be the best that I can be and not come in giving a bad impression.
Well thanks for listening.
Blue
